Friday, May 20, 2016

*knocks mic* ... anyone still in here?

No one will likely read this, but I'm writing it anyway. I just visited this blog for the first time in months and fell down a rabbit hole of memories. It always happens. Jerry will be talking to me while I'm reading, and I'm nodding, and five minutes later I realize I don't know a thing he just said. He could have just told me the apocalypse had broken out or the super-caldera in Wyoming has just blown and I'd be all, "yes, dear, very nice. ... " nodding, nodding ...

Anyway, the last post I read before I decided to pop on here was written back just before Wilder started kindergarten, when he used to ask me tons of crazy, complicated questions at night. And then, out of nowhere, he'd say: "Mom, go pee." Because I'd be dancing around his room, half the time not even realizing I had to pee. You'll no doubt note I go through life in a half-daze a lot of the time. It's called having kids.

Anyway, the post reminded me of how much Wilder picks up on, even when I'm not picking up on it myself. He's always been like that, especially with me. It's like he's made it a hobby to study me, my facial expressions, my voice, my clothing, etc., and he knows what it all means. Her chin is jutted out, she must be mad. Her voice is low, she must be grumpy. She's wearing sweats, it must be a day of the week. It's somewhat disconcerting, but mostly it's just kinda cool.

So, on Fridays, I go into the boys' school and help out with something called Spelling City for the second and fourth grades, and usually go into the library in-between and shelve some books, then douse myself in hand-sanitizer (because children's library books have to be up there with hotel remotes on the list of invisibly disgusting inanimate objects in the world). I love doing the spelling thing, because it allows me to see every single kid in their grades, get to know them, tease them a bit, check in with them if they seem down, etc. Lest I make myself sound too holier-than-thou, I also scowl at them or try to catch them cheating if I know they've been mean to my kid that week. And I silently judge their spelling abilities some. I'm human.

Anyway, today, a kid sitting next to Wilder is having some trouble with his browser window size, so I go over there to help him. In about 15 words, I show him how to grab the edge and pull it wider. "Thanks," he says. And I start to walk away.

"Mom," Wilder says, "um, it sounds like you have a tone to your voice."

This is his new thing. He immediately picks up on what mood I'm in based on my tone (emphasis his, by the way). It's kind of nuts, and he's almost always right. Yes, I wasn't in the best mood this morning. In fact, I had a headache for about the 15th day in a row, felt crappy, fat, old and ugly. I'd tried to make myself feel better by putting on makeup and wearing a dress, only to notice that the right side of the dress dipped lower than the other. Because I'm deformed. I thought maybe it was the dress so I tried another. Yep, still deformed. Fucking hell.

OK, I digress. I turned around to Wilder: "I do? Yeah, I guess I do. It's all right, kid, I'll be in a better mood by the time you get home from school." The girl next to him silently snickered. "Yeah," she probably thought in her head, "this explains a lot." I resisted the urge to scowl at her.

Anyway, point is ... that boy, he's paying close attention. I guess most kids are, which is why being a present, non-asshole-ish parent is such an important job.

14 comments:

Maggie B. said...

Though I'm reading it months late, I loved this, Kris. Important to think about from a parenting perspective, but also, just a human level too. How nice to have someone that reads you and gets you so well. I think people spend a lot of time searching for that.

Unknown said...

such a beautiful inspirational article. thanks for sharing.african lace

Jon said...

I'm still here!

Unknown said...

here!

The Scotts said...

:) me too hon.

ly,
J

Anonymous said...

http://marineauxiliarysystem.blogspot.my/

Unknown said...

nice article. We have a great collection of African fabrics. Visit us hope you guys love them.
Sequin Fabrics

SCIENCE LAB EQUIPMENT said...

A very informative article.If looking for a
Furnace do visit acumen labware.

Unknown said...

Great article. please let me know if you are in need of China business partners or China investors for your business.

Unknown said...

Good post!we love visiting in your blog...we will come back soon
ทางเข้าจีคลับ
goldenslot register
GCLUB มือถือ

CleanUp Master said...

Good Post i am learning from this post.
Now a days Phone booster types of apps are most downloaded by android mobile users.
To clean the phone junk and boost it most users use these types of apps.

gream said...

The fun option that comes with playing the online gambling game. More standard Hundreds of games that players can have fun and play online games. Golden slot All forms on the online casino game site. The system is available through the era, allowing players to play online casino games are all easy and better. In today's online gambling games. Over the next 10-30 million gamers will be able to win the game because all online gambling games can turn a bettor into a billionaire. Only if the bettor overcomes the online gambling game where the player is playing, the bet becomes the player's. The money you play from the online gambling game can be withdrawn from the player account. สล็อต Transfer to your bank account anytime you want. Online gambling casino online. Our team is working to facilitate you day and night. So playing your online casino game can be played anytime you want. To play online gambling games, do not forget to click.

Κινητοί Τοίχοι - Movable Walls said...

Dear friend, may I ask you for a favor? I am presently trying to enhance traffic in my company’s blog, as this would increase chances of the blog’s photos to appear in “Google Images”; this is very important for our work. Could you please visit our blog and browse for a couple of minutes. You may even learn about a new product there!
Thank you.

escorts in connaught place said...

Very Nice Thanks For Sharing