Am I kidding? Nope. As most of you already know, this has been my first week at home. I'll get to the details of that a little later. Now, I know I spent about the last three years going on and on about how I wasn't cut out for SAHM-dom, how I wasn't "that mom" (never said with any derision ... it's just that I didn't think I could do it). As it turns out, I had seriously underestimated the two-kid thing. Details aside, it had gotten pretty rotten around our house. None of us were all that thrilled to be around each other, and something had to give. After many months of agonized, tortured "should I ..." conversations in my head, and after Jerry confirmed he was on board with it, I made the plunge.
So anyway, here I am at home. I'm still doing some work for the magazines I've been working for for seven years, and I've promised myself that I will write, because it's what I love to do. I'm going to start just by posting here more often (and I expect to be held accountable ... if you don't see me posting at least a couple times a week, email me here and tell me to get off my ass. I feel kind of rusty, not only with the whole writing thing but with the usual humor that I try to bring to these posts. That in itself was the biggest warning sign that something had to give ... if I can't crack a joke about life, there are big clouds on the horizon. Hell, there's a tsunami on the horizon.
Anyway, I'm only into my fourth day as a full-time mama. Here's my biggest observation so far, and it's kind of one of those "duh" ones, so don't make too much fun of me. While I'm happier and feel more satisfied and content at the end of the day, I'm also exhausted. As in, EXHAUSTED. Because, let's face it, at least at a job, you can pretend to be working even if you're mind is on a beach somewhere. You can sit in your chair and do mindless grunt work. Not so much at home. I knew that would be true, but it's been confirmed ten times over.
It's also kind of hard to figure out what to do each day to keep the kids entertained, challenged and, frankly, tired. Tired kids are good kids (mostly) and so far I'm struggling with that. So if any of you moms and dads out there have suggestions that work for you, I'm all for hearing them. Unfortunately, though I'm trying, I'm not the craftiest of moms or the joiner type. Still, when all else fails, I find clearing a big space in the living room and dancing our butts off works. And I can force my musical tastes on them and hopefully (though I know it's pointless and futile) fend off the Jonas Bros. and Miley's of the future.
"Hey, no no no no no, we do not stick things in people's ears. Or noses. Or mouths."
This is what I just said to Wilder, and these are the kinds of things coming out of my mouth these days.
Really, though, I'm loving it. It's sad to say, but I feel like I'm getting to know my kids better, particularly Hunter, who had the unfortunate luck of being born second. Before, I saw him mostly during his grumpiest part of the day, and on weekends, when we spent a good deal of time together, but when I was also running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get the things I couldn't get done during the week done.
Anyway, the troops are protesting behind me. They don't seem to like it when I type. Here are a few recent photos, because I know this is what you guys really come here for. These are from the boys' last day at daycare.
Miss Maria, who was so upset with me for withdrawing Hunter that she alternately fought back tears, would not look at me or speak to me, or just declared "I love that baby," plays with him. Whenever I would pick the boys up, Maria almost ALWAYS had Hunter in her arms. We were probably lucky she didn't abscond with him on his last day.
Wilder's teacher, Miss Jeri, and I planned a little party for his last day. I brought cupcakes; she brought popsicles. I found it was a great way to end a week. All the kids broke my heart, though, when they kept asking me why I was taking Wilder away.
Wilder surrounded by girls. Gabby, on the left, and blondie Kate were two of his favorites. Very, very sweet girls.
Miss Marguerita and Miss Maria pose for a goodbye photo with Hunter.
Brothers ...
2 comments:
Awwww.
I know what you mean about saying things that sound weird out of context. I was in a bookstore yesterday with all four of my kids after school, Eva picked up a ceramic pig and wouldn't put it down after I asked her many times. I walked away and peeked back at her still holding the pig and I said kind of loudly, "PUT DOWN THE PIG!"
I looked around at the other people in the store and thought to myself, did I just say that?
Hang in there with the boys, I think you might just love it. My first week at home I had a three year old and a newborn and it was early Sept. 2001. THAT was a tough week.
Love ya,
xoxoxo
love you darlin'.
Jer
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