Saturday, April 12, 2008

The womb bear speaketh ...

We have one of those teddy bears with the little contraption inside that emits what is supposed to be sounds similar to what babies hear in the womb. It soothes them, and the damn thing actually works. So, even though with this second kiddo I find the womb bear SUPER annoying, we put it on nearly every night to help lull Hunter back to sleep after his first or umpteenth nighttime feeding session.

And I swear, it speaks to me. I noticed it with Wilder. It's very rhythmic, and every so often you'll start hearing it say the same word over and over and over again. Luckily, so far it hasn't been "kill. kill. kill" or "eat at TGIFriday's. eat at TGIFriday's." or "Watch Oprah. Watch Oprah. Watch Oprah." But it can be somewhat random. Most nights though, due to sleep deprivation, I forget what it whispered to me in the darkness by the time I awake the next morning.

But last night, about 2 a.m., I swear this is what I heard: "Barack. Obama. Barack. Obama."

For the record, I have no idea who I'm voting for in the next presidential election. But based purely on the endorsement of the Womb Bear, I might have to go with the man who my father thinks might be a Muslim plant here to destroy our American way of life. (Sorry for outing you on that one, Pop, but you did forget my birthday this year, so we'll call it even ... oh, but honestly, I didn't even realize you'd forgotten it until you told me you had. I swear.)

Anyway, if I receive any more secret messages via the bear, I'll let you know. If only he'd chant out lottery numbers to me.

4 comments:

Cati Basile said...

I know exactly what you're talking about!! I have a noise machine I use to sleep with and it does it to!! Just usually not noises, but it distracts me so much I can't sleep and I have to turn it off... lol

Mel said...

We also had the bear. It was a gift from a co-worker (yeah, I once had co-workers!) and it was fabulous. Totally worked. After the third kid, the bear didn't make it through the washing machine, so he was "let go" but I kept the noise box from inside him. That worked just fine on number four until I passed it on to a cousin (of Tony's) one day, (I must have been feeling especially charitable) when she was having a tough time getting her little baby to sleep. That was nearly two years ago and she still uses it (I saw it recently in a prominant place in her home.) Long story long, your bear will never never die. And no, I have not been drinking today.

Unknown said...

LoL busted! Well you have joined the club Jer hasn't remembered my birthday in over a decade. But since I am turning 40 this year I have a sneaking suspicion he will remember. Oh congrats on making me a new nephew. Hope all is well will try and give yall a holler. Love Uncle Ty

The Scotts said...

I called your sorry ass last year on your birthday at about 11 am and you were so drunk you were slurring and...well maybe this isn't the proper forum for this discussion.

greta post babe.
ly,
Jer