Music in the ears

For some time, Hunter has far preferred Jerry's company to mine. As in: "Go AWAY. I want Papa!" Over and over and over again. For months now, really. You can imagine how this must make me feel. Yes, there's hurt. But there's also that incredulous feeling of "you little ungrateful turd ... I carried you INSIDE MY BODY for nine months and let them CUT ME OPEN to get you out ..."

It could go on and on. I don't really say this stuff to him. Just in my own head. I might occasionally mutter "you shit turd" under my breath. It's my newest term of endearment. Mostly, though, I just feel defeated when he does that.

The last few days, there have been glimmers of Hunter love again.

And then this morning ...

I slept in kinda late for me. Wilder was up watching a show. Hunter had not yet emerged from his room. I peeked inside his door and he was just sitting up, stretching and yawning. I cracked the door open to say good morning.

He looked up.

"I want Pa________ ... I mean, I want you."

I don't think even he could believe the words had just come out of his mouth. And he's been following me around chattering at me ever since.

It's gonna be a GOOD day.